Archive for November, 2006


November 27, 2006

We went to the park yesterday. We went to the park today.

Yesterday Daddy and his friend Richard went to the tennis courts at Candler Park to hit together for the first time in an age and so Sam and I accompanied them for the fresh air. As we were sat watching Bill try to ease back into wielding a racket it got a little dull and so I decided to take Froggy for a little Autumnal stroll. We escaped the confines of the court and fallen leaves crunching underfoot, Sam careered down the hill in his chariot where we found ourselves at the children’s play area. Excited to introduce Sam to the joys of the playground I unstrapped him from the Quinny and tentatively sat together on one of the swings. It wasn’t built for adult bottoms, it was a bit of a pinch, but the discomfort was well worth the effort as with Sam in my arms we gently swung and enjoyed watching the swarms of other children and parents enjoying a sunny afternoon in the park. The day was so gorgeous some families were even in shorts and having picnics among the leaves.

This morning it was back to Candler Park for our weekly Monday stroll. I think we may have had our best turn out yet as we were joined by several new mums and children as well as familiar faces. With the playground for a distraction I can’t say we did too much strolling, but instead the mums had a fine time testing the children out on the seesaws, slides and swings. Sam got to try out the proper infant swing on his own today. Despite the grumpy picture he did really seem to enjoy it.

Speaking of grumpy, I don’t think Sam has been himself for the past few days. He’s just been a bit lethargic and not his usual always on the go self. He’s been terribly moody in appearance. I know his trademark look is quite thoughtful, but this seems different. For example, normally I could put him down with the other children on the floor and he’d be crawling all over the place and trying to pull up on anything that he could, but today he was content to just sit like a lump and scowl. Yesterday Bill put him in his playpen and instead of the now familiar cries of anguish at being cooped up he simply didn’t move from where he was placed and lay on his back as quiet as can be. Of course, just when we start to wonder if something is bothering him he’ll then seem perfectly normal and hyper again, and we’ll be back to wishing he had an off switch. Other than those observations there is nothing apparently wrong. Probably nothing, just a bit weird.

Sam also learnt a new trick this weekend. He discovered his tongue and enjoys mimicking us when we stick our tongues out at him and waggle them. He’s adorable. Oh, and of late he also seems to have discovered how to undress himself. He doesn’t seem to like wearing clothes!

Oh and I’m happy to report that Bill finally managed to snag the cheapo Ikea highchair and in celebration last night Sammycam broadcast direct from Sam’s diner for his watching Nanna and Grandad back in Blighty. A superb home cooked dinner of green beans and rice was devoured and then he showed off his proficiency with a Farley’s Rusk.

ON – ON #6

November 25, 2006

Atlanta #1320

Hares: Condom Mints & The Fat Boys Athletic Club

Start: Dresden Park – 2279 Dresden Drive, Atlanta GA 30341

Well that was the laziest hash ever. Fantastic!

Driving up Buford Highway on my way to the Hash I drove past Dresden Drive not once, not twice, but three times. Each pass I managed to not see the road until it was too late to turn. With time ticking I ended up trying to cut back up to Dresden from what I hoped was a parallel road but ending up going in completely the opposite direction. My nose did tell me this though and I followed it back around and finally made it to Dresden Park with minutes to spare.

Pulling into the car park I was dismayed to find that it was hopping and there was narry a space to be seen. Hashers were out in force alongside throngs of other park users. I cruised the lot in desperation and rejoiced when I spotted a lone empty space. Glancing around I was the nearest vehicle, oh it was mine, all mine. I pulled up closer and was about to slide on in when I remembered I wasn’t driving Perdie but was in the truck. Oh crap! A reassessment of the space indicated that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. Both cars on either side were parked askew and on the lines. The car park was rather tight and short on room. This, however, appeared to be the only eligible space and so what was a girl to do? I gritted my teeth and decided I was going to scrape into that damn space even if I had to inch my way in.

A little later and a multitude of yawing back and forth and the truck was parked. The several cars who had pulled up behind me excitedly waiting for me to admit defeat were left abject, and bag in hand, I turned myself into liquid and oozed out of the door. Success!

On checking in and eavesdropping on others, I picked up that this was to be a special Hash. The very unathletic dogs and babies in attendance should have been a bit of a clue. This was a joint Hash between Pine Lake and Atlanta and is traditionally the shortest Hash of the year, the hares taking pity on Thanksgiving meal fueled roly poly hashers.

Two trails were laid, one a live trail for the keenies. The other being the Fat Boy Athletic Club trail for the rest of us. Amid the milling hashers I was rather confused by the proceedings and unsure which trail to follow. Looking around I spotted the most handsome hasher and decided to just follow him like a groupie.

I was very pleased to be introduced to Martha’s lovely slobbery Basset who goes by the name of Reuben and was happy to come out to the one and only hash of the year where he had a hound’s chance in hell of making it to the end.

A leisurely stroll followed with flour in full attendance and beer stops aplenty. What’s more, delicious sugary doughnuts (and not so nice pork rinds) were also proffered along the way.

As it was my sixth hash I was overdue a naming and so en route I was pumped for incriminating evidence to be used against me. Some people were lovely to chat to and subtly got their information, while others, *cough* Snot Rag, were absolutely nefarious and just loved to make me squirm and put me on the spot by getting filthy. Whoever I spoke to it did seem that I was unable to open my mouth without it being turned into some sort of innuendo.

Cutting back away from the streets and houses we tore through the undergrowth to get to a swathe of no man’s land guarded by pylons. That was rather pleasant. The sun was shining and it felt like a British summer’s day. Martha didn’t fare so well at this point and ended up having to carry poor Reuben as his little legs are not suited to traversing shiggy.

Actually, other than Martha wanting to rip little innocent Maggie out of her baby stroller so that Reuben could take her spot there really isn’t much to report on today’s Hash. It was all very civilised with no checks, confusion, or lost trail. I’m not even aware of any embarrassing trail moments to report.

Upon reaching the On-Down there was Thanksgiving leftovers aplenty laid out on the table and everyone tucked in, but me. Too much meat and nuts. Martha pointed out a pumpkin pie that she’d made and being assured it was nut free I was able to happily tuck in. Delicious.

Finally it was time and circle was called. Under the watchful eyes of the Grand Mistresses, virgins, first timers, hares, too longs, and general accuseds were called to perform the down downs. Last of all, it was my turn to be called forward to drown my nerd name in the dregs of a 12 oz and to be bestowed with my Hash name.

Many suggestions were bandied around, some lewd, some completely incomprehensible, some topical and involving Plymouth, pilgrims and Thanksgiving, until consensus was finally reached and to the raucous medley Just Kay was renamed Tasty Pie. (Yeah, that lost me too, but hey, at least it’s possible for me to say without turning into a beetroot. I think it was having my first taste of Martha’s delicious Pumpkin Pie that did it.)

Oh, I should also mention that on return to the car park I was confronted by two young Hispanics making out on the bonnet of the car next door. When I came near, got into my driver’s seat and turned the lights on, they were still undeterred. Quite the opposite in fact. Instead they grinned, stared me down and put on quite a show for me. Classy!

A day to remember and Thanksgiving

November 20, 2006

Another milestone reached. This is surely an occasion to note down ready to recant when our little boy brings home his first girlfriend.

19th November 2006 – our beautiful baby baked his first potato, chopped his first log, christened a boat, produced his first turd, laid a baby egg, fired his first cannonball, dropped his first bona fide solid load.

I guess we can wave goodbye to the breastmilk poop, the new diet is obviously kicking in!


Sam has more teeth coming on the bottom. I try to see what is going on in his little mouth but he is uncooperative and pushes his tongue in the way and screams at me. I see three teeth for sure though. That’s not right…supposedly teeth come in two at the bottom, two at the top, and then the rest fill in. The surprise third bottom tooth would explain the crankiness of late though. Despite trying to peer in with the aid of a torch I can’t tell whether tooth number three has a partner or not.

Sam must have also had a bit of a growth spurt recently. It was Thanksgiving today and Bill dressed him to go visit the family for dinner. When we got there I took him out of his car seat and realised that his long full length dungarees were now rather more like shorts on him. His nappy was also exploding out of his crotch where the snaps would no longer fasten. These were his nice long dungarees that I rely on to cover his legs up and keep him warm. Crikey! I swear they fit him just fine last week! Bill might just have to relent and allow me to dress Sam in the legwarmers I made for him, in public! Shock! Horror!

Oh yes, I mentioned it was Thanksgiving today. We drove down to Madison to meet up with members of the family for a lovely meal at a dude ranch. Sam had a great time and as well as experiencing his first Thanksgiving he also got to eat at the table with the rest of us for the first time. I had prepared him a delicious meal of baked pumpkin, rice and carrot as a first course. This was followed up with tasty stewed apple, Braeburns no less. A rather fitting variety for his first taste of apple. Most of it seemed to go into his mouth and not down his front and he had a great time sat in the high chair banging away on the plastic tray in front of him and being watched by all at the table.

Speaking of high chairs I wish that cheap arse one we want from Ikea would get back in stock, every time we go to buy it they are out. By the time we manage to get hold of one my dear husband is going to be doubled in size thanks to the Swedish meatballs he insists on scarfing down every time we go.

Am so glad we got to have a nice meal out with the in-laws, especially Bill’s mom who’s had a rough time lately and relieved us by looking very well and chipper today. Shame though that it was hard to relax and talk to anyone properly while on mummy duty. Oh well, I guess I’ll get better at multi-tasking someday.

Great, Sam is back up and wailing again. This teething business is really no fun at all. The poor baby barely seems to sleep at night now and instead wants to spend the hours feeding and gnawing on me. It’s getting a bit much and I can’t just keep placating him with milky milky all night, especially now he’s getting teeth and I’m getting concerned about possible decay due to milk settling on his teeth at night. Nothing else seems to calm him though and oh my gosh my head is about to split open if I have to listen to him crying any longer. What’s better, a headache or chomped boobies? Gah. Where’s my happy, sleeping, good baby gone?! Thank goodness I had a nice nap when we got home this evening and Bill’s been giving me a break from rabid Sam. Speaking of whom, sounds like hubby’s buckled and Sam has been relocated to the swing. Peace reigns briefly once more.

Panola Mountain

November 16, 2006

A happier post to cheer me back up, not that the delicious bottle of wine I’m partaking in isn’t already doing that, but what could be better than a grinning Sammy?

For Mel:

Bill and I took Sam to Panola Mountain for a walk on Sunday. That day he clearly said Da-di for the first time, though has yet to understand what it means. His favourite game at the moment is when we point to him and say “Sam!”, point to daddy “Daddy!” and then “Mummy” when the finger goes in my direction. When we point to Sam he jumps up and down excitedly, grins, gurgles, splutters and chuckles loudly.

Sad day for Perdie.

November 16, 2006

The house is quiet at the moment because Sam is sleeping and Bill has gone to spend the evening with a friend and some beer. I’m rather agitated and feel like I should be doing something but there isn’t anything I can do to make what just happened at the Y better.

I’d taken Sam to the gym intending to do my workout and then take him swimming. I did my thirty minutes of cardio and was just picking Sam up from the playcentre when the tannoy asked for the driver of a blue Mazda 3 registration AFU to come to the front desk.

That’s Perdie. I was confused and went outside to see what was up. Soon I was even more confused as she wasn’t where I had left her. Instead she had rolled out of her spot and down the hill, coming to a rest scraped up against another car. I started shaking.

Thankfully no one was injured and the owner of the other car had just finished her work out and had returned to her car to discover this situation.

I was internally cursing myself assuming that I must have forgotten to put the brake on but when we looked through the window we could both clearly see that Perdie’s hand brake was on. Now I’m especially irritated because when I went to the dealership the other week I’d specifically mentioned that I’d felt the handbrake wasn’t feeling right but had been assured that all was well.

We had to hang around in the cold for the police to arrive to file a report. I felt especially bad for the other lady as she was 8 months pregnant and had a young daughter with her too. Her car also looks a lot worse than Perdie, though thankfully after the policeman had been and gone I took a better look and a lot of the “damage” seems to be dust that wipes off. Still, Perdie has some nasty dents and scratches on her rear wheel arch and the other car is damaged all along its side.

I’m rather upset, poor Perdie. What an expensive trip to the gym too. It’s really frustrating that no doubt our insurance premiums will go up and it sucks because as far as I can see I didn’t do anything wrong. I want to cry.

Teatime with Sam

November 7, 2006

Sam’s been getting some rice cereal for tea for just over a week now and doing really well. Once I came up with the trick of feeding him using two spoons, one for him to hold and the other for the food, he seems to be enjoying it greatly. It’s terribly messy but he has a good time. Feeding him certainly keeps me on my toes as I try to get the cereal into his mouth and not on the floor. He’ll try to excitedly grab the spoon I’m using and push it around in his mouth, slobbering all the while. At this point I’ll let go of the handle and snag the spare spoon from his other hand ready to reload for the next mouthful. Feeding is a continuous cycle of spoon exchange.

Yesterday I decided to let Sam try a new food. I peeled and then steamed an organic summer squash from the Farmer’s Market, pureed it into oblivion and, once cool, fed him some mixed up with a bit of breast milk. I even have some frozen in little portions ready for future meals. Wasn’t hard at all and I did it while I was cooking our tea so it wasn’t a big deal at all.

Sam’s face was a picture when he first got some of that concoction on his tastebuds. He’d been so excited thinking he was getting more rice cereal that when the squash hit his tongue he was so surprised and pulled a terrible face. That didn’t last too long though and very soon he was tucking into his first vegetable dish, and getting that all over the carpet, across the room and in the dog’s hair too.

This morning we met Natalie and Presley at the YMCA where we did the Mommy and Me class. Presley and Sam played together and had a good crawl while we bounced around with the fitness balls and did some free weights and exercises. These two photos were from last month, but they pretty much show what Sam was like today too, just add Presley crawling in circles around him and getting very excited by the huge fitness balls.

Sam does his own workout – CRUNCH!

Afterwards, we put Sam and Presley into the nursery for thirty minutes so that we could do a little extra cardio on the machines. Now, Sam is worn out and I’m having a nice quiet moment while he naps. Oh crap, I spoke too soon, the Kraken wakes!

Monday, 6 November 2006 17:29:20

November 6, 2006

OMIGOD! I have a screaming baby sitting in the middle of a Jackson Pollack-esque poop painting on his cot mattress! YUCK!

Bill?!! Where are you when I need to pass the buck?!

A Busy Weekend Missing Perdie

November 6, 2006

It’s been a sad weekend without my favourite little blue car. We were driving home from the Farmer’s Market on Thursday night when the Check Engine light came on and I ended up taking her to the dealership on Friday. After turning the customer lounge into a nursery for a few hours the verdict came back that she couldn’t be fixed that day and we were sent home with a loaner. We’ve been driving around in the courtesy Mazda 6 since then and I don’t like it. I want Perdie back!

After two years of wanting a new sofa, actually a sofa, but financial circumstances constantly thwarting us (no Christmas bonus, redundancy, car repairs, fridge breakdown, etc etc) Bill decided enough was enough and so we went shopping (no Hash – can’t seem to load the site to see where the start is at the moment). We went to one shop on Saturday and amazingly within half an hour we’d arranged for a delivery at the end of the week. Bill caught me on a weak moment and I caved over letting him have the leather sofa he’s always apparently dreamed of. Before I could change my mind his card was swiped and he had a happy grin on his face. We drove over to Mary’s house this afternoon and to borrow a little device to stop the dogs from getting comfortable on the new furniture when it arrives.

We were planning on going down to Milledgeville today to see how Bill’s mom is doing after her surgery. Unfortunately after speaking to his Dad we were advised to leave it for a while as Fran is being naughty and overdoing it a bit and visitors might have been a bit much for her at the moment. Depressingly Bill’d already filled up the loaner’s petrol tank ready for the trip and so as they had only given it to us with a quarter of a tank we felt that we really ought to at least make the most of the petrol we’d put in her and get into the country for the day.

We bundled Sam out and went over Mary’s way to Hard Labour Creek to see the Autumn colours. We didn’t see any beavers, or lake, on the Beaver Lake Trail, but it was lovely to get out and take a family walk.

Hungry, we stopped in Rutledge and were happy to find a cafe open on a Sunday. We enjoyed a tasty lunch and I indulged in some jalapeno poppers. Disaster struck when Sam exploded on Bill and we discovered that we only had one wipe with us. Bill coped admirably with the situation and deftly whipped Sam away into the bathroom and sorted out the mess while I leisurely finished my meal. Hoorah!

As we were so close to Mary and Hank’s we then decided to drop by to see if anyone was home. Turned out that Mary was riding in Kentucky and Hank should’ve been there with her instead of hobbling around at the house with the dogs. The poor guy had fallen off his horse and really hurt himself. Thankfully the first doctor’s opinion of a broken back proved to be incorrect and he is taking it easy trying to recover. Poor Hank is so accident prone it is ridiculous. Sam hopes you liked his free display showing off all his latest tricks and says “Feel better soon Uncle Hank!”

Back at the house it looks like Bill and I are in for another bumpy night. Sam seems to be in full blown teething mode and is unable to stay in his cot for more than a few hours without waking up and bawling and screaming in distress. I am getting really sore from trying to comfort him back down to more reasonable levels of screaming. We’re pretty sure that teething is the culprit here because apart from the fact that his bottom gum now feels like a sharp razor, if you shine a torch into his mouth and are lucky enough to get Sam to shift his tongue, you can just make out a tiny little tooth protruding through the surface.


November 4, 2006

Received this morning:


Did you know?:

That an anagram of Sammy Allen is………..

“a smelly man !!!!”

Noooooooo! He’s bootiful and smells lovely

love you
and grandadsy to Sammy

ON-ON! #5

November 4, 2006

Hash Halloween Home Crawl – October 28th 2006

You can imagine how I squealed with joy when I dragged my dragon costume out of the attic and found that I could indeed squeeze into it. Only a minor panic followed when I had to work out what to wear with it so that I wouldn’t freeze but then my inside out camo shirt and black running trousers saved the day. I even managed to find my scary bag of glittery green makeup and had great fun daubing as much as possible around my eyes. A little girly session in the bath with some pearly jade nail polish gave me some lovely dragon claws to complete my ensemble.

Thus a not very scary, but somewhat timid and anxious dragon headed over to Ansley Mall for the start of the annual AH4 Halloween Home Crawl. This was to be a true drinking hash with little exercise so Sam and Bill gave me lift out to the meet and I arranged for them to pick me up later. Of course, Sam didn’t get to miss an opportunity to dress up too and he came out to the Hash in his costume too.

Oh, I forgot a stupid thing I did in my hurry to get ready that morning. I was racing around the house and went to grab my hairbrush from the bathroom. I reached up and *plop* the breast pump I was holding in my other hand fell straight into the toilet. NO!!! That was a twofold disaster because I had yet to use it and was getting rather sore up front. The pump went onto the stove to boil and my little leech had to be put to work on me. I remembered about the pump halfway to Midtown as we driving on the Interstate. Oh crikey! Bill had to drive us home and race into the house to turn the stove off. Idiot that I am.

Okay, so on our second attempt we made it to the start with no other hitch and I was relieved to see many other Hashers already ambling around in costume. Began to feel somewhat less conspicuous but my shyness wasn’t helped by being unable to recognise whether I’d actually met any of these people before beneath the costumes! I hung out, took deep breaths and knew that once the beer started flowing that any awkwardness would dissipate with every chug.

Martha Screw-It, I did spot immediately, she was handing out the souvenir t-shirts, coozies and easy to twig. She clutched a monkey, sported an anti-Darwin sticker, and Bible, and claimed to be an ironic Cave woman. Her spiel could be heard like an echo throughout the afternoon and confused many a simple Hasher.

I lurked while Freudian Slip (Crip Teaser) shivered, Britney and Kevin Federline made white trash babies, JonBenet (Hot Pocket) and Patsy Ramsey made small talk with John Mark Karr, while Blondie from The Clermont Lounge crushed beer cans between her two enormous sagging boobs. Uncle Sam strode past. Two Greek Gods posed. I didn’t recognise my fellow DFL Portuguese Water Dog until he came up to me and I squinted through his Joker make up.

The turn out was nowhere near as good as had been expected, largely due no doubt to the atrocious weather of the day before. Stragglers did make a delayed start worthwhile but eventually everyone was chomping at the bit to get to the first Beer Stop and so maps were handed out and the pack was released.

A hefty hike straight down Piedmont Road immediately stressed out my poor little dragon feet and sadly I had to be declawed en route.

#1 – Hot Pocket: A cute little in town dwelling where I scored myself a large can of Becks from the cooler. This was especially dandy because the can matched my skin and I’m all about coordination. This also made the walk through Piedmont Park to Beer Stop #2 distinctly more chatty. So much so that I think we picked up a random person on our way.

Crikey! Not one, not two, but three Steve Irwins graced us on the Hash. Here, I was the nearest thing they had to a crocodile.

#2 Screw-Ewe: I think it was here that many increasingly inebriated Hashers needed their first pit stop. We were directed upstairs into an apartment complex and told to use the loo in flat 8. I followed the sound of Hashers critiquing Screw-Ewe’s big (DIY) jobs and joined the queue. While standing in line passing time with some Mongols the front door opened and I noticed the number on the front read 7. Ooops? This, however, did not deter desperate Hashers in need of relief.

#3 Boob Teaser/Cynthia F*cker: My memories of proceedings go downhill from here.

#4 Jackass: Confusion and argument en route to Beer Stop number 4 as the pack split in two directions at a junction and mad reading skills appeared to have been lost. Was all good though as it turned out either way led to more beer. Hoorah!

#5 EZ Cheeks

#6 THE END – Sub-Human: PIZZA! The ever gallant Pigless here offered to fetch me a piece of pepperoni pizza. I declined, explaining I would only eat a veggie slice, so in his eagerness to please he grabbed a slice and scooped off all the meat for me. Uhm…thanks! Meanwhile, I had uncovered a box full of delicious veggie pizza and was devouring that. Undeterred, and eager to please a lady, Pigless turned his charm onto Crip Teaser and the hapless lass got his meatless portion.

Havoc reigned at the Down-Down and by the skin of my dragon teeth I escaped being named on my fifth run with the Atlanta Hash. Phew, that could have been nasty.

[Thanks to Martha for the photos]